Mini-Mom Retreat Takeaways

I just returned from a weekend Mini Mom retreat for Hope After Loss. Where we honor a small  group of Moms who feel safe sharing their experiences as they watched their child change  through their addictions and are now living with the ultimate nightmare of losing that child. Being a consultant for HAL, I have the privilege of bringing the message of hope to them  throughout the weekend. As believers, we know God has held us up as we walk through these  long years of grief, and we know that we are better when we share those experiences together. 

This retreat was somewhat unique because we had been at this very spot one year earlier to  have our very first Mini Mom gathering. Coming back to this historic home built over 100 years  ago and located right in the heart of a very active community in Cottonwood Falls, Ks., we  bonded. This Bed & Breakfast served as the perfect host, providing the warmth you might feel  while visiting Grandma’s house or a favorite Aunt’s home.  

If someone would have told me 10 years ago that this would be my mission field, I would have  said they had lost their minds! I wouldn’t have felt qualified to lead, but because God has  brought me to it, he has equipped me for it! When God is doing the wooing and you feel the  unwavering support like I have from my fellow leaders, surprisingly, it all works out! God is  leading and guiding this important ministry every step of the way.  

As the first Mom arrived, Kris and I greeted her with open arms. Not knowing what to expect  when you show up for a weekend that promises support and healing is a big step of faith.  These women are brave and trusting. They are here to receive Gods blessings and gain some  understanding of what grief looks like for other Moms. Jan was instantly warm and easy to talk  to. As the other Moms arrived, we all seemed to be comfortable with one another. Throughout  the next few days, as we shared our stories and our children together, it seemed effortless to  trust and confide in one another.  

We were midway through the planned lessons, activities, and sharing when one of the guests  asked me something that no one has asked me since losing my daughter Lacy, almost 11  years ago. She asked me if I had accepted it? It caught me off guard. Had I? I took a moment  to be honest and search my feelings. I finally was able to answer with a convincing YES. I had  accepted that my daughter was gone and she was where she should be. Wow… that was not  easy to say! Even as I said it, I felt my body react with a strange feeling that is hard to describe.  For me, acceptance is one of the most difficult parts of a grief journey. 

I felt proud that I could say yes to that question.  

If you’ve ever had to say goodbye to someone that could never in a 1000 years be replaced,  someone that holds a piece of your heart, someone who helped shape who you are, you might  know what I’m talking about. 

Driving home the next day, Kris and I talked about that answer and how we both felt like even  though nothing is a constant in grief, we have both felt the peace of acceptance and that it  took many, many years to get there.  

Today I am thankful for the weekend. I am thankful for the grace given to me by God to  continue. I am also very thankful for the love that I still have for Lacy, the same love that I am  now able to use for others because of Gods provision.